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  “Have you ever had a boyfriend Zoe?”

  The moment the B-word came out of Zoe Rayne’s twelve-year-old, little sister Paige’s lips, Zoe wanted to bury herself in quick sand and pray for a painless death. This is exactly why she hated Truth or Dare. She always picked truth because the questions were somewhat safe while dares were uncontrollable and put you at the mercy (or lack thereof) your friends. She didn’t want to skip around in nothing but her panties singing I’m a Little Teapot as Minnie Philips, Zoe’s best friend, was just required to do. Yet, Truths could hold the same amount of humiliating power, if you let them.

  Zoe always picked truth, hoping that the question wouldn’t be too horrible, and that she could pass off a decent lie if she had too. And now was the perfect time to lie, but she couldn’t. Not when Paige was staring at her with huge eyes, rimmed with glasses that actually were Coke-bottle-thick and magnified the blue irises to an immeasurable size.

  Paige’s innocent doe look pulled at every heart string in Zoe’s chest. Zoe wanted to lie, but God help her, she couldn’t. Not when she had promised Paige six months ago, after they were matched up by the Little Sister-Big Sister program, that she would never lie to the teenager. She didn’t want to be like the girl’s unstable, lying parents. Zoe even signed a special contract, written up by Paige, to promise 100 honesty at all times.

  It had been hard promise to keep—especially in times like this—but Zoe managed by keeping herself out of sticky situations. So one could say that she really stepped in it this time; she gave herself no outs having actively participated in the game up to now. If she lied, the past six months as Paige’s Big Sister would have been for nothing and she would just be a tally mark of disappointment in the girl’s life.

  Zoe wanted to give the socially acceptable response—that she had had tons of boyfriends and was extremely experienced in everything man. But that would be a bald-faced lie and worse, Paige would know—the girl could sniff out a lie from 100 miles away.

  Desperate, Zoe looked at Minnie, urging her friend to help her out. Minnie could say or do something to end the game, move them on to some other scandalous activity usually held at slumber parties. Maybe they could turn out all the lights, light a candle, and summon Bloody Mary in the bathroom mirror. Zoe wasn’t particularly fond of such mental torment, but she was willing to scare herself silly to get out of answering this question.

  Minnie, the traitor, just shrugged her shoulder.

  “You did pick truth,” Minnie murmured as she nibbled on the side of her long black-polished nail. She had put her tank top back on after her humiliatingly funny teapot dance, but was still lounging around in her lacy, pink panties. Flipping onto her stomach, so she was lying across a large floor pillow spread out in the tiny walking space of Zoe’s miniscule Manhattan apartment, Minnie smiled devishly. Zoe stared at her friend with her mouth hanging open, she wasn’t sure if she should be shocked that Minnie wasn’t helping her. It wasn’t really in Miss I-Never-Get-Embarrassed-So-Why-Should-You’s personality to help another person out of any type of semi-embarrassing situation. No matter how good a friend she was. Minnie chose to avoid Zoe’s gaze and reached into the bowl of sour candies. She took out a handful of gummy worms and assorted sour balls and began popping them into her mouth.

  That seemed like a good idea. Maybe if Zoe’s mouth was full she wouldn’t have to respond. But eating a handful of junk wasn’t really on her special diet plan anymore.

  Carefully, and with great deal of consideration to her calorie count for the day, Zoe plucked a red candy from the dish and put it in her mouth. The sour outer shell instantly caused the nerves behind her ear to twang, and biting down on the candy made that twinge worse. Spitting the slimy glob into her palm, Zoe stared at it with disappointment.

  It was so like the old Zoe to eat candy to make things right. She knew that candy wouldn’t take the question away.

  “Are you going to answer?” Paige Dryer asked after pushing her frizzy red hair off her face. She too grabbed a handful of the candies and began licking sugar off the worms.

  The idea of a slumber party had been the tween’s. Paige’s parents had kept such a tight leash on her that she’d never been allowed to stay over any anyone’s house. It took two weeks for her mother to finally agree to let her stay overnight at Zoe’s apartment. Twenty minutes past night fall the sirens outside started up and Paige was both horrified and thrilled by the city aesthetic. She said it was like living in an episode of Gossip Girls.

  Because this was Paige’s first slumber party ever, Minnie was adamant that they play slumber party games, which included a “wild” game of Truth or Dare. Zoe regretted her excitement at the idea. She should have said no to Truth or Dare; it could still be a good party without it. They could have played something else, maybe something safer, like a game of Sorry! They could have rented scary movies even.

  Well, Zoe hated scary movies too, but she would rather watch a slasher flick than answer this question.

  “Any day now,” Paige said as she slurped a worm into her mouth.

  Zoe continued to stare at the candy in her palm. Chewed up and spit out—that’s exactly what she would be after she told Paige the truth. Chest tight, hands clammy, mind rattling with a thousand plausible lies, Zoe sucked in a deep breath and answered quickly. “No.” An uncomfortable silence followed Zoe’s response. She could feel their eyes burning into her, staring with blatant shock and awe. If she listened hard enough, she could probably hear them blink.

  “Ever?” Paige whispered her voice small and tight like a cartoon mouse.

  “No,” Zoe repeated. The red glob in her hand slid down to her fingers leaving a sticky red trail along her skin.

  Paige moved up onto her knees and dropped the candies from her hand back into the bowl. “Never ever?” She stretched out both words making them sound horribly pathetic.

  Grabbing a napkin, Zoe wiped the candy from her palm and scrubbed until the stickiness was gone.

  “That’s two questions,” she said quickly. “Let’s move on—truth or dare Paige?”

  “No way!” Paige launched herself across the small space so she was wedged on Zoe’s floor pillow and pressed warmly to Zoe’s side. “We need details.”

  “That’s not part of the game,” Zoe felt her chest squeezing unnaturally. She answered the stupid question, now she just wanted to move on, preferably to a game that didn’t involve anymore boyfriend talk.

  “Okay, then we’re gonna to play a new game—I want to know details,” Paige said quickly.

  Zoe shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t want to talk about it. It’s no big deal.” Paige wrapped a slender, bony arm around Zoe’s waist and dropped her forehead to Zoe’s shoulder. It was a sympathy move that Zoe should have been prepared for, but she wasn’t. The moment Paige touched her and made an “oh dear” sigh, tears sparked in the corners of Zoe’s eyes. She looked away and fought the urge to break into hysterical sobs.

  This was absolutely humiliating and there would be no turning back from the discussion either, both Paige and Minnie were bursting with curiosity.

  “Yeah, but… you’re twenty-six,” Paige said quietly. Her eyes were full of amazement and wonder as she stared at her Big Sister with new appreciation. Zoe crossed her arms over her chest and looked at Paige with what she hoped the girl would interpret as annoyance.

  If Paige caught on to Zoe’s look she didn’t let on, she was fascinated by the whole situation. “There’s this girl at school who has a new boyfriend every other week—”

  “—Good for her,” Zoe stammered. She refused to be compared to a girl in junior high—

  she refused!

&nb
sp; Paige hurried on, speaking at a supersonic speed so she could get everything out before Zoe could interrupt her again. “—And she—her name is Marcy—makes out with him all the time! And then there’s this other girl, Dawn, who has had sex in the gym locker room with two different guys. Not at the same time. So, if you’ve never had a boyfriend does that mean you’re a virgin too? I mean, you can date and have sex—a guy doesn’t have to be your boyfriend for that right? Do you even date, Zoe? Have you been kissed? Why aren’t you dating? There’s nothing wrong with you.”

  “Hear, hear,” Minnie said as she threw a fist into the air. “Preach on little sista! There’s nothing wrong with Zoe, she should be dating.” There was nothing wrong with her now, Zoe admitted silently, but that didn’t mean that there wasn’t something wrong before. Sure the one thing that had kept her dateless for the past thirteen years wasn’t an obstacle anymore, but… how do just adopt a new dating theme for your life overnight? And guys weren’t interested—she was never asked out.

  Paige grinned at Minnie and then turned her expressive eyes back to Zoe. “Well?” Stirring uncomfortably, Zoe pushed herself up to her feet and picked up their empty chip bowl. She carried it a few steps to her micro-sized kitchen and dumped in the remaining Doritos. She crumpled up the bag and threw it away before returning with the bowl.

  “Isn’t that like 20 questions or something?” she laughed nervously. “I thought we were playing Truth or Dare, not 20 questions. So it’s technically my turn now. Paige, Truth or Dare?”

  “But… I have follow-up questions!” Paige cried.

  “That’s not part of the game,” Zoe said as she returned to her pillow. “Minnie, care to re-tell the rules real quick? Seems like me Miss Honor Student here has her dumb ears on today.”

  “Actually,” Minnie slowly sat up and looked at Zoe with an assessing gaze. A slow one that crept from Zoe’s knees, bent on her pillow, to the top of her frizz-free head. “I’m curious about a few of those questions myself.”

  Betrayed! And by her best friend too, Zoe couldn’t believe it. Shoving her black hair off her shoulder with an exasperated huff, she turned her pleading eyes on Minnie.

  “But you know everything!” Zoe cried.

  “But I don’t,” Paige chimed in. “We’re sisters now, remember? We’re supposed to share everything.”

  “And I don’t know everything,” Minnie added after a moment. “We’ve only been friends for about three years. You’ve always been pretty tight-lipped about the personal stuff.” That should have tipped Minnie off to understanding why Zoe didn’t want to talk about this now.

  “Ummm, maybe I don’t like talking about it because it’s personal? Paige give Minnie the definition, because I think she’s forgotten. Plus… plus…” Zoe stammered. “You know more than most people, Min. I’m not answering anything else. I’ve said a truth. I answered her question. The game doesn’t have rules demanding that I elaborate on my answer. Now can move on to something else? I have good movies to watch or—”

  “No way, I want to know why you haven’t ever had a boyfriend,” Paige filled her delicate hand with chips and began munching on them. Zoe stared at the bowl with longing. Her tongue even watered as she looked down at the reddish-orange triangles. Her stomach even growled, which was impossible considering she just ate an hour ago. Chips were definitely off the acceptable calorie list. Pushing the chip bowl closer to Paige and Minnie, Zoe shook her head.

  “It’s okay you know—we’re all friends,” Paige said encouragingly. “Do you like boys?”

  “Ooh, good question!” Minnie whispered into her straw as she stared up at Zoe with wide, curious brown eyes.

  “I’m not gay!” Zoe exclaimed, blood rushing to her cheeks. “I like men very much.”

  “But not enough to date them?” Paige inquired sharply. “You’re twenty-six, you haven’t had a boyfriend, you haven’t been kissed, and you probably haven’t been on a date ever in your life.”

  “Excuse you,” Zoe snapped, “but you can’t just assume that I—”

  “I’m not assuming,” Paige exclaimed while placing a gentle hand on Zoe’s knee. “It’s just easy to infer that if you’ve never had a boyfriend that you haven’t done those other things either. And the homosexual question was justified because it is slightly weird that you haven’t been with anyone.”

  Zoe frowned.

  “She sounds like a good lawyer,” Minnie beamed. “I guess hanging out with me in the court room has rubbed off huh?”

  That was another thing Zoe regretted—allowing Minnie to take Paige to the courthouse, where Minnie worked as a court reporter, for a few hours during the week. The idea was to expose Paige to all the career possibilities for a young woman as intelligent as she was—a lawyer or maybe an executive at an advertising agency? Paige didn’t get such encouragement at home, which was sad. But Paige was also a red-headed sponge who soaked up a vast amount of knowledge wherever she went. Zoe did feel like she was being grilled by a prosecutor—a highly observant one at that.

  “Infer and assume mean the same thing, Paige,” Zoe muttered lamely because she couldn’t think of anything else to say. She was sure that if she were to dispute Paige’s comments, the girl would come back with an even better, perhaps more in-depth argument. “Guys, look… I just haven’t been lucky in that regard and…”

  “But you’re hot!” Paige was outraged.

  “Hear, hear,” Minnie said as she raised her fist up again.

  Zoe frowned at them both.

  She had never been called “hot” in her entire life and was keen not to believe Paige who had no reason to lie or embellish the truth. Crossing her arms over her chest, Zoe looked anywhere but at Paige or Minnie. This had gotten out of hand. There were too many questions and accusations floating around. She wasn’t going to confirm or deny anything because denying meant confirming and Zoe just wasn’t ready to do either. They were breaking the rules of Truth or Dare by asking her more than one question, and neither of them was going to let up on the whole boyfriend issue.

  “Okay,” Paige said slinking back on her own pillow. “We don’t have to talk about it anymore.” Zoe tossed her a relieved look and sighed. Minnie, however, wasn’t so willing to let things drop. She pushed herself up and held up her hands in early surrender.

  “Look… I know that you didn’t date much—” Zoe pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes tightly “—and I know that you think your former weight had a lot to do with it.”

  “It had everything to do with it!” Zoe laughed bitterly. Slapping her hands against her knees, Zoe turned her attention to Minnie. She couldn’t be mad at Paige for asking such an innocent question, but she could be pissed off at Minnie for not stopping it. “Come off it, Minnie!”

  “What?” Minnie cried defensively. “I’m telling you it wasn’t your weight that…”

  “Save it,” Zoe snapped coldly. “You’ve never weighed more than you do right now—

  about 100 pounds wet.”

  “104 actually,” Minnie murmured dryly. “But that’s not really the point of…” Zoe waved her hands in the air frantically. She was desperate to stop the conversation all together.

  “It doesn’t matter Min, you could technically add your weight to mine and you’d have me two years ago.” Something about saying that out loud was hurtful and it embarrassed Zoe even more than not having had a boyfriend did. “And all the chubby chasers in the tri-state area just weren’t after me okay?”

  “Bryan Benson—” Minnie began, but she was cut off by Zoe.

  “So, we’ve established that I was screwed all through high school, college, and post college when it came to men—no one dates the fat girl, Min!”

  “Oh, that’s not true,” Paige said innocently as she pushed her glasses back up her little freckled nose. “Porscha, this girl at school, weighs like three hundred pounds and she’s dating, Dave. Granted he’s not all that great looking in the face, but…”

  “And… not
true,” Minnie added quickly before Zoe could cut in with another excuse.

  “Have you seen Margo lately?”

  Okay, Margo weighed about 189 pounds and was about two inches taller than Zoe’s 5’-

  3” frame. Since Margo was average-sized and carried her weight in her butt and hips, where as Zoe’s problem had been universally spread across her body. Margo, with slender arms, big boobs, and a tiny waist, was ultimately more appealing to men and therefore couldn’t be compared to Zoe two years ago. Plus, Zoe had been flabby everywhere, no shape at all. There was nothing more frustrating than being compared to a girl who didn’t measure up in the same way. Who wanted to be likened to a girl who was technically just overweight while every time—up until last year, that is—Zoe went to the doctor he checked the morbidly obese box?

  “Margo isn’t as big as I was,” Zoe retorted with frustration. “We’re different shapes too—men like that hourglass look with a big bootie. Not a bean bag chair with legs.”

  “It’s because you’re shy,” Paige chirped. Her intuitive eyes scanned Zoe for a moment and then she sighed heavily and grasped Zoe’s cool fingers. “I’m shy around boys too.

  Remember I was telling you about Clint?”

  Zoe couldn’t smile so she just nodded. Clint Masterson was on the football team and in high school. Paige was just finishing up the eighth grade, but she ran into Clint often because he still rode the bus. And while Zoe could sympathize with Paige, being shy at twelve was much different than being shy at twenty six. Worse probably.

  “He’s so cute—but look at me,” Paige holds out her arms. “I’m a troll doll with pop-bottle glasses and freckles.”

  “Stop,” Zoe said with a smile. “I think you’re cute.”

  “And you’re not?” Paige countered automatically. “You need to get in the game—what’s stopping you?”

  “Um, everything!” Zoe laughed and finally helped herself to a few chips, her self control totally gone. “I don’t know anything about men and…”

  Minnie sat up suddenly. If she had been a cartoon a little light bulb would have magically popped up over her head. Zoe knew that look of enlightenment and excitement—Minnie was planning something that probably wouldn’t bode well for Zoe. Turning her full attention to Paige, Zoe shrugged her shoulder. She hoped that by turning away from Minnie, her friend would forget about her sudden idea and let things drop.